Saturday, November 20, 2010


Baby Jay Is amazing!! That's really all you need to know but I will give you examples for your reading pleasure!!
He now falls asleep ON HIS OWN (No more rocking, bouncing, nursing to sleep he just straight up goes in his crib and falls asleep and with nearly no fuss)!
He sleeps from 8pm to 6am
He smiles and giggles and it's just about the cutest thing ever
He is going on day 4 without his beloved binkie and he is being a real champ.
I love that little boy more than I ever thought possible.
Thanks for being such a good boy Baby Jay Mommy loves you!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Day One: Something you hate about yourself

Day One: Something You Hate About Yourself

I could write this post about the stretch marks that now line my boobs or the extra bazzilion pounds that are now clinging to my thighs because I HATE those things about myself, I do. But, I want to write about something I have to think a little bit harder about. . .

I hate my complete lack in self control. I have arguments with myself all day long becuase of the self control I do not posses. Once I get my head around something it's really hard for me to sway from that "something" even if it's not something I consciously choose. It could be--and a lot of the time is--a subconscious decisions. Once it’s decided I can't sway it no matter how hard I try. I have no self control. It's like something bigger than me is living in my brain and controlling my thoughts and subsequently my actions at times. I know I don't want to do something, I know I may regret the something once I have done it yet I cannot tell that bigger thing in my brain NO.

It can be a simple as eating a piece of candy (or the whole box) I know I will be mad at myself after I eat it, I know it is un-healthy and isn't going to help me reach my post-prego weight loss goal yet I CANNOT stop that little --no-- big voice in my head telling me to just eat the damn piece of candy.

I hate not being able to get through a day without having a battle with myself over something because of my lack in self control. I hate the battle.

I hate my lack in self control that is what I hate about myself right now tomorrow it may change, it may be different but today this is it.


So I found this little list on a website. I have decided to give it a whirl. This list has some pretty scary subjects and by scary I mean brutally honest, raw subjects that are personal and some controversial so . . . here we go!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some really tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Day Late And A Dollar Short

Yes, Yes I know I said I would post every Friday but I promise seeing the pictures on this post will make it worth the wait :).
What is it about a dressed up baby that is just so friggin cute that no one
can resist sneaking a peak? There is nothing cuter than little kids in their costumes.

Exibit A The Very Sleepy Elephant

Exibit B A Very Sleepy Elephant And His Sleepy Lady Bug Friend :)
Aren't they adorable?

Halloween is such a fun time of year. I love the season, the holiday and the month.

October is my favorite month for many reasons

The colors change

I married my best friend this month (one year ago!! WOW)

The air is crisp and clean (well mostly)

And Halloween of course.

I think Halloween is a fun holiday. I think it's exciting and almost magical for little kids. I don't think it's evil or bad. Although I know there are some people who do think this and to each their own. But I would like to know. . .

What are your thoughts on Halloween?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Letters To You # 1

I write letters to my son.
I hope he will appreciate them when he is older and that he will know that he has ALWAYS been loved.
I want him to know without a doubt that he is SOOO LOVED.
I have written these letters since I found out I was pregnant. I have just recently felt the need to share these letters. I'm not sure why and even feel a little embarrassed sharing such intimate emotions; such personal feelings with the world but I cannot ignore the pressing thoughts telling me to share these letters.
Without further adieu:
My Son, My World
I love you more and more with the passing days. I am honored and proud to be your mommy. I look at you each day and think "how could I love someone more", without fail the next day my love for you grows.
I'm not sure what I did to deserve such a gift. I'm not sure I do deserve you. I hope I do. The happiness you bring to my life is indescribable. The love you have planted in my heart is magical.
I. am. in. awe. of .you.
The way you have helped me grow as a human being. You have showed me and taught me so much in your short time here, perhaps more than any other. I thank Heavenly Father for you; for your sweet spirit that helps me to know my purpose here; for your graceful presence that reminds me of my Heavenly Fathers love; and for your beautiful, perfect little body that reminds me of the purpose we have: to come to this earth to receive a body. The love I feel for you my boy is something fierce.

Friday, October 22, 2010

A month?

WOW!! Its already been a month since I posted on this silly blog. Time seriously flies these days. I am going to make a vow. . . ready?

I, McCall McMonigle, Vow to write on this blog at least once a week!

There you have it. I think I'm going to make it on Fridays and maybe, just maybe you will get a few posts in between but we will see about that.

It seems all I have time for these days is being a mom and I am perfectly happy with that. But there comes a time (and folks the time has come) when I need to start remembering my other duties. Like, for example being a wife! My poor husband probably thinks he has been forgotten about, I don't make dinner any more sheesh I don't even go grocery shopping. There are only so many things you can make with milk (you know like chocolate milk, strawberry milk). Starting today (with a grocery shop) I am going to try to start remembering my other roles that I need to play other than mommy. My husband will be grateful I assure you. No one loves a meal waiting for him when he gets home from work like that husband of mine.

On a different note, the man child is getting big. He is 8 weeks old and I can't believe it!

The Tiny Toot at just 2 days old

And Now (This was taken on the 6th of Oct.)

He is just the cutest thing I think I ever did see. I has been gaining weight like its no ones business and he is so tall. I weighed myself the other day then weighed myself again holding him and according to that method of weighing (it's not the most accurate) he weighs 14 pounds. HOLY COW!! He is wearing size 3-6 month clothes and even some 6-9 months too!

He is such a sweet boy. He is becoming more and more easy going as the weeks go by and the best thing of all. . . He smiles now. So if you happen to see me making a you-know-what out of myself it is probably to make my son smile. : )

Being a mom is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I thank my Heavenly Father every day for this precious little boy he is trusting me to raise. I am so proud to be his mama!

Monday, September 20, 2010

The birth of Kainen Jay

The birth of our beautiful baby boy was exactly what we had planned for- a peaceful, natural birth with no medication or medical interventions. Throughout my pregnancy Patrick and I practiced hypnobirthing and were eager and excited to put all of our practice to use. We attended classes, I practiced every day, and we did our birth companion scripts about 3 times a week. It was the most amazing experience I have ever had and I am so happy to be a mommy.

I started to have contractions around 1 o’clock pm on August 24th, I didn’t really think anything of it and continued on with my day, they started to get really regular so I texted Patrick and told him “I don’t know but this may be it” we were both getting really excited. About an hour later my contractions settled down and only happened about once every 30 min-they were very mild. I told Patrick that they had calmed down, no need to leave work. I continued about my day and my contractions started up again they were about every 15 minutes from about 6-10. Patrick and I took a walk around 8 to see if that would make the contractions more frequent. While on our walk my contractions did pick up a bit, and each contractions I had “fluid” come out (if you think that’s too much information you should stop reading now). I thought that maybe I was losing control of my bladder the first time it happened then when it happened each time I had a contraction I realized it was probably my bag of waters (Patrick hates that it’s called that by-the-wayJ) I was a bit confused though, as I thought that the bag of waters would rupture all at one time, not trickle out with each contraction. Patrick and I had a good laugh about it and continued our walk. We returned home and my contractions were still pretty consistent but not I-need-to-go-to-the-hospital consistent. I called my lovely Sister-in-law to ask her some questions (she is a doula and a fabulous one at that!) I knew I could trust her not to tell a soul we “may” be in labor and I knew she would answer my questions much better then Google! And she did! At this point my contractions were still consistent so we did what any couple in labor do . . . we went to bed. (What that’s not what you did when you were in labor with your first born). About a half hour after laying down my contractions started to get a little stronger and closer and closer together. I was timing them on my phone. It was about 1230 and they had been consistenly 5 min apart for close to an hour. Right as I was waking Patrick up to tell him the good news my water broke.

“Babe wake up my contractions. . . Oh my gosh I think my water just broke”.

“What do you mean you think”?

“I’m not sure can you turn the light on”?

And sure enough my water had broken (all over our bed if you must know, if this is too much information I would suggest you stop reading now J). At 12:45am on August 25th we were well on our way to holding our baby in our arms. We were both so excited. I decided I would take a shower and stuff before we went to the hospital so I took a shower and Patrick got everything ready and in the car (including a towel for me to sit on so I wouldn’t get amniotic fluid on my car seat. Ha what a thoughtful husband I have)! We got to the hospital at 2:45am when we walked into the hospital the security man tried to make me get in a wheel chair which of course I declined, how many times do I have to tell you people, I’m pregnant not in need of a wheel chair thanks! We got all situated in our room and they monitored the baby and checked to see what I was dilated to. I asked to have limited vaginal exams so this was the only time she checked me until I asked her to later that morning. I was dilated to a 5 and 50% effaced. The baby was looking great and I was able to take off the monitors and walk around. I walked around my room, I had planned on walking around the hospital but decided I would just stay in my room, it was huge and I felt comfortable there. Patrick was the most amazing “birth companion” I could have asked for. He was so encouraging and helpful he did everything he could to keep me calm, and relaxed. He reminded me to breath and keep my body limp so as not to tense up. He helped me to relax when things did get tense and I couldn’t have done it without him. For the majority of my labor I walked around or used the birth ball. During my contractions I would lean on Patrick with my arms around his neck and he would hold me up and support me. This somehow made the contractions bearable, each time I had a contraction Patrick was there to support me and talk me through it. He really was amazing. I got my Hep lock around 3:30am and if any of you know me you know this is what I had been dreading!! Pushing a baby out was lower on my list of fears then getting this stupid thing. I hate needles, I hate how they poke you and then take your blood, I hate seeing the blood in those little vials, I hate the feeling I get when they are taking vial after vial of my blood, I HATE the whole experience, this was the only time during my labor that I cried! I have anxiety just writing about it. Weird right?

As things progressed I decided I would get in the tub and that my friends, was an excellent decision. The water made my contractions so much more manageable and was very relaxing. I didn’t stay in there long though, the water was way too hot and I started to feel sick so I got out and returned to walking around the birth ball. At this time my contractions were very intense and I decided I wanted to be checked again to see how far I had progressed. I was dilated to an 8, I knew I was very very close to wanting and needing to push. The nurse called my doctor at this point so that she could start coming to the hospital I was so glad she was on her way, I knew this baby was coming fast. Around this time my forbag (not sure what that is) started to come out I started to freak a little bit, I thought for sure it was the baby’s head, the nurse wasn’t in the room and I just pictured my baby dropping out on the floor I think I told Patrick, in a panic

“I feel the baby’s head, its coming out!! Get the nurse”

And all he said was

“Are you sure”?

What a funny husband! He was completely calm about it, he called my nurse and she came in and eased my fears, it wasn’t the baby’s head at all nothing to worry about just some weird bag thing that held my water I guess. . .? (Patrick then watched her claw at it with a hooked tool, glad I didn’t know about that till just now!)

I remember asking a billion times if Dr. Laine was there yet, I was so anxious for her to get there I’m not sure why. As soon as I saw her I felt relief and was ready to get my baby out. She checked me one more time just to be sure and sure enough I was dilated to a 10 and 100% effaced! She told me I could “bare down” at any time I was ready to go. During the next contraction I tried to counter it with some “breathing down” (a hypnobirthing term) and for me it didn’t seem to help so I decided to actually “push” (not the kind of pushing that you see on the movies though, my face didn’t turn purple and I didn’t burst blood vessels in my eyes, I learned to push only where I felt the baby’s head and I put this technique to use.) And boy did it help. It made my contractions seem not so bad and I knew that with each “push” my baby was getting closer and closer to being in my arms. During the last few minutes of pushing the babies heart rate kept dropping, he didn’t like when I would hold my breath to push and it showed on the heart rate monitor. I used an oxygen mask at this time to help get oxygen to him when I was taking a break from pushing and this really seemed to help. Each time I would push his heart rate would drop but as soon as I took a huge break of the oxygen it would be perfect again. For a minute there I was a little worried but my doctor was so confident that he was just fine that I was able to put my worry aside and do what I had to do. I “pushed” for less than 45 min. The last few pushes were so very intense, I could definitely feel what everyone refers to as the ring of fire (when the baby’s head crowns), and it was the most pressure I had felt yet. I remember Patrick telling me how well I was doing and that he could see our babies head, this gave me what I needed to try my hardest and get him out and that is exactly what I did. The last two pushes all I was thinking about was how close I was to holding my baby in my arms I was so excited and full of joy. And at 8:04 am on August 25th our baby boy was born. He was bright eyed and wide awake. He was so calm and peaceful he didn’t even cry until they rubbed him all over with the rags to wipe him off. He was (and is) the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. We waited for the cord to stop pulsing before Patrick cut it. Our baby was lying on my stomach and we are a family. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.

Patrick and I took hypnobirthing classes to prepare for our birth. I would highly recommend these classes to anyone considering a natural birth and even if you aren’t considering a natural birth these classes are wonderful. I felt so confident during my labor and delivery and the hypnobirthing played a major role in this confidence. Although I didn’t use all of the techniques I thought I would during labor I know without a doubt all the practicing we did and the classes we attended helped me to achieve my goal of having a natural (non-medicated with no medical interventions) birth. I couldn’t be happier. Patrick was the most amazing support I could have asked for. He was by my side helping me 100% of the time and I couldn’t have asked for a better “birth coach” he really was amazing. I couldn’t have done it without his help and support. I am one lucky girl!!